A recent piece by @Louise_Janovsky challenges the idea of the “midlife crisis”, suggesting that midlife isn’t about losing ambition, it’s about becoming more discerning. Rather than a panic over aging, this can be a time of recalibration, prioritising meaningful connections, quiet moments, and intentional living.
How have your perspectives about life changed as you age?
How do you view your middle years?
Mid-life, or older life, can be incredibly lonely and destructive of your psyche.
If you’re in a situation of being single with no children, there is nothing to give you purpose or occupy your time. If money is scarce, there isn’t the option of using your time to explore new places, especially if they’re far. Friends and acquaintances in a similar stage in life are too busy doing what they’ve been looking forward to all along - travelling, spending time with grandchildren, etc. As a single person, you don’t fit in anymore - if you ever did.
Work, aside from providing an income, was a means of interacting with others too; you felt that you added value to the organisation through the role you performed. With that gone, who do you interact with? Yes, you can do things like go to gym, but you go, you train, you may talk to this and that person perhaps, and then you go back to your blank life. At least, though, it’s the end of the day and you can focus on making some supper and ultimately getting to bed, to sink into oblivion.
Anonymous
‘Maria30’: Although my own personal circumstances differ from those that you expound on, I am inclined to agree with the general tenor of your opinion - the piece by Louise Janovsky would undoubtedly serve well as a ‘pick-me-up’ to midlifers, in general … and could be seamlessly included within a motivational speaker’s repertoire, concentrating on the instilling of positivity and optimism. The realities of mid-life re-assessment … however … are far more complex than the facets raised within that piece: the mental challenges in surveying a finite future is often further exacerbated by the unrelenting glare of an inescapable past. The (sound, but unrealistic) advice, of ‘don’t look back’, is pretty tough to adhere to.
The “unrelenting glare of an inescapable past” hit hard! Introspection can be traumatic. The past can shine on your present, or cast more shadows than light. Staying out of the shadows is the hard part. Having people around you to help you when you get lost in the shadows is a big help.
I am well beyond the ‘midlife’ period. Got the t-shirt and lost it, so to speak. The man in the mirror is silent most of the time. Which is good.
What I’ve learned is that it is important to stop every now and again, check your bearings, and make sure you’re on a path you want to be on.
Thanks for this reminder, @georgemjleegmail-com